Letter to Lush

Lush, I am not sure how long I lived without the ability, or maybe even the interest, to write something personal. But here it is. Only for you.

I worry about you because you now have a world of your own that I cannot really see and definitely cannot influence very much. But at the same time I am proud of you because you have survived this world so far, with all the temptations and all the shit that is out there. Truly.

One memory always comes back to me. Sitting in those stupid hospital chairs waiting for the results, waiting to hear if my most treasured son was going to make it. Man, that was hard. Really hard. Why it happened is still an unanswered question. I can only tell you what I learned from it. Maybe it will be useful one day.

The relationship between parents and children is limited by the definition of the relationship itself. We are the default authority. We can be valuable. We can be resourceful. We can protect. But we are not modern. By design. We protect more than we challenge. Your challenge is your own life. You have to embrace it.

Now I will probably start sounding opinionated, but I think you put too much value into physical things when your real power can be much more intellectual. People follow strength, but not always physical strength. The people who really move the world usually have a vision. They see something before others see it. And honestly, for you, I don't think this would be difficult. I think it could happen in a second.

You just have to wake up one day and realize that the world around you belongs to you as much as anybody else. You need to become your own agent. Once that happens, you stop being a victim of circumstances and start becoming a leader.

I love you so much. It is completely irrational. But I believe in you even more. Seriously. Start today. Start thinking differently. Not that you control everything. Nobody does. But that you can lead. Yourself first. Then maybe your family. Your friends. Your community. Whatever circle of people life puts around you.

Once you lead, the world changes around you because you start changing the world yourself. Try it. And if you don't want to try it, that is okay too. But then you have to accept living by other people's schedules, other people's priorities, other people's rules. Sometimes that is fine. Sometimes it is even useful. But most of the time it is painful.